I'm, like, not much turned on by vampires.
I'm not a complete non-romantic. I read Patricia Cornwall's novels about Dr. Kay Scarpetta. But they're realistic. Sort of.
I asked my friend Lynne if I'm being an old fart.
"Sort of," she says.
Lynne says she's read all the "Twilight" books because her granddaughter gave them to her. "They give us a way to bond," she says.
Then she adds, "But if I were younger I could see where Edward would be extremely attractive. He lets you wallow in sensuality and romance without being overtly sexual."
And the desire to wallow in sensuality and romance ends at what age?
"Maybe 50," Lynne says.
Well, not according to Chelsea Kaplan, writing for Match.com's Happen magazine. She says, "When you're in your 50s and back on the dating scene, you quickly realize that the rules of lovemaking aren't exactly the same as they were when you were first dating. While you may fear that the old gray mare just ain't what she used to be, you might be surprised to find out that there can be some incredible in-bed benefits to being a bit more seasoned."
And then she lets her readers speak for themselves:
"I actually enjoy sex a lot more than I did back when I was younger, because I'm more experienced now than I was then, I am more attuned to what it is that I like. I'm also definitely more skilled than I was when I was less experienced, so I guess my partners are more thankful than they were back then, which also makes it a more enjoyable experience for me." - Sharon, 55, Waco, Texas
"You know the phrase, 'There's more than one way to cook a chicken'? Well, when you're in your 50s and have been having sex for quite some time, you've kind of gone through all of the recipes, if you catch my drift. Therefore, you kind of have to get inventive or it can get old. I've been pleasantly surprised to find out that the women I date are as into trying new 'recipes' as I am. I guess you sort of have to or sex can get really predictable." -- Robbie, 52, Coral Springs, Fla.
Sex and sensuality dead after 50? Not if all those Viagra and Cialis ads are on track.
Maybe the difference is realism. We don't need to play games like "let's pretend." "The Twilight Saga" is a teen turn-on, but the idea of someone scruffing about my neck thinking of sinking his teeth into my arteries isn't nearly as much fun as watching a sunset while you share a good glass of wine with an interesting man.
As Sharon from Waco says, we've all learned by experience.