'Amazing Race'

The Twins must repair a windmill to move on. Think they're in over their heads? You might be right. (CBS / December 3, 2012)

Trey finishes on his first try, James finishes in two rounds.

No, I don't think your ankle is fine

The Goat Farmers arrive at the tennis courts when the Chippendales are leaving, thanks to their excellent driving and navigation skills. Josh told Brent in the car that his ankle feels better after being elevated on the ferry all night, so he takes the Roadblock. Then,  you'll never guess what happens.

Josh lands on his foot wrong and hurts his ankle all over again. He groans every time he swings, and Brent points out that he sounds like Monica Seles. Josh only gets four balls the first time, then 10 balls the next, and then he sits on the side and despairs for a while.

The Twins arrive at this low point. They tell a story of how they were given lots of tennis lessons when they were young, they were supposed to be the Sri Lankan Williams sisters, but whenever they were dropped off at the courts they would instead run off and jump into the swimming pool. I'm sensing a pattern of not sticking to lessons.

Josh gives himself a pep talk. It's hot, he feels old, but he says the only way out is to pass out from the pain or to have his foot fall off. Or to finish the Roadblock! You forgot that option, Josh!

Nadiya's strategy is to stand in the middle of the court and hold her racket like a cricket bat. It doesn't work too well.

Josh finishes, and then Nadiya finishes as the guys are walking off. The Twins want to follow the Goats, and they ask if they know where they're going. The Goats say they don't, that they're going to ask. After they drive away, the Twins have this dialogue:

"They have a map! How do they have a map of this place?"

"I don't know, they're super-prepared, they're gay."

It's like Big Thunder Mountain Railway!

The next stop is a cave, where teams have to go in and follow music until they find some guitar players with their clues. Texi and the Chipps arrive together and go in together. The cave is huge, paths everywhere, with stalactites, stalagmites, and other cave formations that I don't know the names of.

"It's so natural, like something in a theme park," Jaymes says. And, it's backwards, but I also totally understand, because if a theme park does it right, it looks exactly like that.

Extra Chippendales enjoyment for everyone

The cave clue is for a Detour. One option is to repair a 400-year-old windmill by attaching two blades to the tower. The Chipps were going to do the other Detour, but they took a wrong turn at a roundabout and found the windmill instead. 

"Working at Chippendales," says Jaymes, "we may have seen a construction outfit a time or two."

"I might have swung a styrofoam hammer here and there," adds James.

I love that they embrace all the cheesiness of Chippendales. Let's just ogle them some more as they repair a windmill, even though their shirts are on.

While working at the mill, J and J banter about how they're doing "man work," and in their down time they're a full service windmill repair agency. It makes me want to get a windmill.

Fake bulls are dangerous if not driven correctly