Ten things that should happen on 'The Walking Dead'...
...but probably won't
Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) (Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC)
The midseason finale, which aired on Nov. 27, saw a zombified Sophia emerge from the barn — Hershel Greene's holding pen for reanimated family members and friends — and take a bullet in the head from Rick Grimes' revolver.
Key storylines heading down the stretch run of Season 2 include the volatile love triangle between Rick, Lori and Shane; Hershel's territorial protection of his farm and the whereabouts of self-amputee and great American badass Merle Dixon.
I hope everyone had a nice 10-week break. I spent the time off returning sweaters, playing broomball, refereeing broomball, jogging sporadically and eating fast food. I also watched "Twin Peaks" a lot, went on a road trip to Providence, RI, for New Years, and ran face first into a fence while trying to catch a football. Finally, I was entertained live locally by the Nuclear Cowboyz, Baltimore Blast and Ring of Honor wrestling.
But enough about me, let's get onto the ten things that should happen in the second half of "The Walking Dead" Season 2, but probably won't happen!
1. Some silly new characters
"Seinfeld" had Kramer, "Lost" had Hurley, and Perfect Strangers had Balki.
On "The Walking Dead," we're stuck with Glenn (chuckle) and maybe T-Dog (snicker) for the occasional comic relief.
In the second half of Season 2, I'd like the writers to introduce a more classic, vaudevillian funnyman. Maybe someone who suffers from a delightfully amusing mental disorder like Captain 'Howling Mad' Murdock from the "The A-Team" (played by Calvert Hall graduate Dwight Schultz nonetheless). Or maybe the band of survivors will welcome a failed stand-up comedian into their ranks. His puns and one-liners will be so bad that they'll be hilarious! I'd even settle for a sassy young — possibly gay — smart-aleck who often cracks wise, a la David Spade or Andy Dick, at the expense of others. Can you imagine the possibilities?
*Dale is being eaten by zombies*
Sass-master: "What a shame!"
Lori: "I know, he was such a good man!"
Sass-master: "Oh honey, I was talking about that unfortunate shirt! Where did he get that, Jimmy Buffett's yard sale?"
2. Celebrity cameos
Half the fun of "The Walking Dead" is that the actors are relative unknowns — save for Emma Bell from"Frozen" and "Final Destination 5," and who died in Season 1 — so you're like "Oh, this guy's not famous so he could be killed at any second, but then again, none of them are famous, so any of them could be killed at any second! MINDF---"
But wouldn't it be fun if like David Duchovny or Denise Richards or Cheech Marin or Tom Wopat or that guy Jonathan Pryce who was in the Infiniti commercials, or Debra Messing, showed up on the farm like "I'm lost, and scared. I can't believe I found this farm! Can I hang out and cool my heels for a minute? My dogs are barking!"
And the best part is that they're just doing a cameo, so they'd need to exit stage left by the end of the episode. That would mean that either they could mosey on down the path (maybe after doing something to outrage the other survivors?) or meet their death! Wouldn't it be fun to watch Betty White or Wayne Brady or Chris Elliott being devoured by z-boys?
3. A new background