To top that sugar off, Lisa and Ken make it through the ceremony. It’s OK if you’ve got a bit of dust in your eyes, guys. And their cute little banter throughout it all: Goodness, if we could all find a love like Ken and Lisa’s. This is better than any Hallmark Channel movie I’ve ever seen. I actually giggled when Ken smushed the cake into Lisa’s face, bruh. GIGGLED.
Now on to the reunion. As I mentioned before, it basically began with Andy Cohen acknowledging Adrienne-gate and how thoroughly annoying that was for everyone involved. The fact that we still are not 100 percent sure what it was that Brandi said to incur Maloof’s wrath is just – I’m so glad she won’t be back next season.
At the reunion, Kim and Kyle are too ready to blame Brandi for Adrienne deciding to leave the show. News flash, ladies. Adrienne didn’t leave the show because of Brandi and her gossip. She left the show because I willed it to happen. Yes. The sheer power of my annoyance traveled – trans-continentally, no less – and inspired Adrienne to chuck the deuces and focus on shoes or vodka, or whatever the heck else she’s up to. I don’t care. As long as she’s not on this show next season, sending threatening letters and then lying about it. Or giving Faye a reason to speak.
Brandi stands up for herself, though. She insists that Adrienne started it all, and that she will “f****** cut a b****” if she has to, in order to defend herself.
We finally (kind of) learn the identity of Taylor’s mystery man from a few episodes back. She’s been seeing her not-yet-completely-divorced attorney. (Brandi’s obviously upset about that, given the Eddie situation.) The BF lives in Denver, though, and she was flying out to see him when the whole “Where’s Kennedy?” mix-up happened at Kyle’s party. Her mother and her nanny had a miscommunication, so even though Taylor admits she has a problem with alcohol, she says she wouldn’t have known where Kennedy was if she was sober, either.
Andy then brings up Lisa and Kyle’s beef. Lisa believes that she and Kyle stopped being close after Kyle (more like Mauricio, probably) sold Lisa’s house – which is a level of shadiness that is practically beyond comprehension.
Kyle insists that it’s because Lisa got close to Brandi and left her behind, but she doesn’t want to fight with Brandi. Instead, she wants to settle this with Lisa. Brandi and Kyle aren’t at odds, and have actually become, sort of, OK with each other.
Yolanda isn’t about keeping the peace this time, though. She brings up Kyle’s fight with Lisa in Paris and Kyle’s two-faced, trouble-making ways.
Somehow, Kyle and Kim have decided that the best way for Kyle to win Lisa back is to break up her budding friendship with Yolanda. She tells Lisa that while they were in Paris, Yolanda said Lisa was “full of s***,” which totally could’ve happened when Yolanda was annoyed with Lisa after Lisa made that joke about Kim possibly taking too many pain killers.
Either way, Lisa’s pretty much fed-up with Kyle, so whether she believed Yolanda when she denied it, is up for debate. Either way Lisa told Kyle that she believed Yolanda, which made Kyle turn another color. And it was the best.
We also finally get to the bottom of why Yolanda’s scenes were usually with her family at the beginning of the season. None of the other women really reached out to her to be her friend.
Kyle accused Yolanda of being cold, but Brandi insisted that Yolanda is just from overseas. Which kind-of makes sense. It could be the slight social awkwardness of living in a country that is not your own. Or, it could be that Yolanda is just ballsy and upfront in a way that Kyle’s not used to.
Meanwhile, it comes out that Kyle, apparently, didn’t bother to offer Yolanda a glass of water when Yolanda was sick in her driveway. Sooo…who’s cold now?
Yolanda got a lot of grief for some of her more, um, un-PC/controversial scenes this season. Admittedly, some of the things noted were issues I was initially turned off by – her Stepford wife-like view of marriage, the weird “pep talk” she gave a worker who didn’t speak English, etc.
No one is perfect, and Yolanda’s foot did spend a good bit of time in her mouth early on in the season, but if I grew to like her, anyone can.
Next week: Reunion Part 2!!! Well, really, Lisa vs. Kyle/Kim (Part 2). Dun dun dunn!