Kyle and Mauricio arrive, and I honestly haven't forgiven Mauricio for his behavior at that terrible Moroccan dinner, so ... meh.
Yolanda tells the couple about her upcoming Paris trip (To visit agencies for Gigi! That's awesome!) and Kyle and Mauricio are "coincidentally" Paris-bound, as well.
You guys, this overseas trip is just as contrived as the other overseas trips on all of the other Housewives-esque shows. Making it seem coincidental does not make this any less obvious, doods.
Now, the whole group's invited, but Taylor took Kim and Kyle's intervention to heart, and decides to stay home to work on her life.
Things get super awkward when Brandi tells David how much she likes Yolanda. Not because of anything Brandi said, but because David's first reaction is to say, "I know. Mohamed picked well."
Yolanda's busy making ish awkward for someone else: Taylor. She confronts Taylor about talking behind her back. Remember the angry rant at the Moroccan dinner? Worst party Kyle's ever thrown, y'all.
Taylor isn't bout it. She denies it all, and explains (in her confessional, obvi) that her issues aren't with Yolanda, but with David, who had a relationship with Taylor's friend, Linda. Not a good time to discuss it, in Taylor's opinion.
Kyle spills the beans about Linda, but Yolanda already knows that David's ex is still in love with him, and she can't be bothered with that bull.
David has got to stop playing the piano at dinner parties, though. It's too sickening.
Ken and Lisa get to Warren's and it so beautiful, I want to cry. Apparently, Warren owns a bunch of properties in Notting Hill, and has been successful. Lisa looked so proud to say he was self-made in her confessional. So cute.
He also has a 21-year-old son whose set to graduate from college. Which gets them to discussing just how old Ken was when Warren was born. I'm going to believe Lisa when she says he was 19, because women are usually right about that kind of thing.
Sue, obviously old enough to be Warren's stepmother, doesn't want to discuss ages. A little background on Sue: She was a Bond girl!
No comment about the beach, or the beautiful blue water, or the other women just picking up and going to Paris. I'm too bitter.
Kyle and Kim are still having open talks about Kim's drinking. It's so nice to see them trying to mend their friendship. Brandi and Yolanda are pretty cute, too. It's just all so lovely, I know it's going to get ruined.
Marisa calls with horrible news. She and Dean were headed to the airport when they found out that her father-in-law just passed away. That is just awful. Thankfully, they were home to get the news.
Lisa and Ken go to dinner with Warren and Sue. Ken's busy trying to lure Warren out to Beverly Hills and it's adorbz. Wait. Lisa is only five years older than Warren? I'm trying to make a timeline here, but I'm too confused.
The rest of the crew arrives in Paris and head up to their rooms. Yolanda's missing David, and I feel for her. She and David are joined at the hip so being in Paris solo isn't ideal.
Everyone gathers by Brandi's balcony to see the fireworks and Kim is late -- which ... let's just say, Kyle doesn't like it when Kim's late. Brandi's sexually harassing Ken, as usual. And then there's this discussion about threesomes and Brandi's threesome rules and OHMYGOSH. Please make it stop.
Kim finally shows and she's nauseous and kind of spacey, and you already know Kyle assumes the worst. Please don't let her be right.
Next time: Kyle confronts Kim, Ken and Mauricio ride Segueways, the ladies take a gross French cooking class, and Lisa and Kyle go at it. Again.