By Amy Watts
For The Baltimore Sun
9:11 AM EDT, May 8, 2013
Results show! When they're down to this few couples, there's more time for filler. Yay! Filler! I don't even like DoubleStuf Oreos, y'all.
What this means is we get a troupe performance right off the bat, that isn't even themed to anything, other than, "Hey, we need to fill time."
Highlights from last night -- let’s see if they show us anything we didn’t see last night. Ok, I don’t remember seeing Zendaya’s parents’ reaction to her perfect score. They are up on their feet and cheering. Love it. As grounded and sweet a kid as she seems, I imagine a lot of it is to their credit.
Results: Ingo & Kym are safe! Oh, wow! That means they weren’t in the bottom two! Who was down there with presumably Sean & Peta.
Kellie & Derek are in jeopardy. I imagine they’re not bottom two, but that the show wants to continue the dramz from Len’s outburst last night. I bet they get told they’re safe before the revelation of the actual bottom two.
Len explains that, of course, they’re going to have the first perfect 30 routine of the season as the encore dance, so bring on Zendaya, Val, and Gleb. I didn’t notice last night that Zendaya’s wearing what look like shiny gold wrestling shoes. Unless you’re 16 with legs halfway to the ceiling, I wouldn’t recommend trying that look.
More highlights from last night, this time of Zendaya and Val specifically. As their trio round samba concludes, Jacoby looks at the camera and wonders, “Why can’t I do that?” And then in the post-dance interview, Val says Zendaya actually messed up three times during the routine. She shoots back, with some sass, “But you never would have known it.” That’s right, kid. If the judges don’t see it, it didn’t happen.”
Apparently, last night, in the process of popping open his shirt, Jacoby gave himself a wedgie with the elastic that was keeping the shirt tucked in. SEXY. But again, if we didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. Jacoby explains that he’s aggravated by his scores because he’s competitive by nature.
Results: Zendaya & Val are safe. Zendaya’s victory dance is pretty cute. And might even be referencing Jacoby’s TD dance moves. Jacoby & Karina are in jeopardy. WHAT!!?! Jacoby reassures us by reminding us that it’s their first time to be in jeopardy.
We see more footage from last night of the judges arguing about Kellie & Derek’s paso doble. It’s nice to know that they really are that autonomous in their score giving.
Now Jason Derulo is singing and apparently he had a bad neck injury last year. So it makes sense that he’s starting his routine with a headstand. Also, if one single syllable of this is being sung live (where we can hear it) I will eat one of Mark Ballas’s hats.
So now let’s see what some of the results are from the twitter voting for styles of dance next week. Kellie has trouble saying the word “flamenco.” Kym really doesn’t want hop hop for her and Ingo, but does want Charleston. I bet Ingo would have a blast with Charleston.
Kellie & Derek, if they return next week, will get the flamenco, whether or not she can pronounce it. Ingo & Kym get the Charleston, yay! Zendaya & Val get hip hop, which should be a slam dunk for her. When asked by Tom if he’s worried about keeping up with Zendaya, Val replies, “Since week one.”
Sean & Peta get disco, which booo. I bet they’re going home, so that means we won’t get disco next week. Also it means no Jacoby disco, which makes me ineffably sad. Aly & Mark will be doing Afro Jazz and my cultural insensitivity hackles are already tingling. Jacoby & Karina will be doing the Lindy Hop. Although after Jacoby mimicking some of what he thinks are “Afro Jazz” moves I wish we’d gotten to see that.
Emily Sande performs. She’s big in Europe. Keep trying to come across the pond, dear. Maybe it will work.
More filler in the form of a segment with Peanut Rademacher. He’s driving around the stage in a red toy car and is generally adorable. He and Jacoby jump up and down on a couch. He boogies in Len’s trailer and we see that Len wears flip flops in his downtime. Aieeee. Peanut says something I don’t understand because I don’t speak toddler that makes Jacoby do a double take.
Tonight’s featured dance is one done in a revolving room. So, the camera must be moving with it or something, because the room always looks upright to us, but you can tell from how Derek Hough and Jaimie Goodwin are dancing which way gravity is working. It’s cool, but feels more like trickery than dancing, even though I can only imagine how difficult it was. I kind of wish they’d show it again, allowing us to see the room moving.
More Emily Sande. LIKE HER, AMERICA. WE COMMAND YOU.
Results: Aly & Mark are safe. Sean & Peta are in jeopardy.
Oooh, this means either Jacoby & Karina or Kellie & Derek are in the bottom two along with Sean. Dang. That’s surprising.
Kellie & Derek are revealed as being safe.
Brooke tells us that Jacoby & Karina and Sean & Peta are “not necessarily the bottom two.” In-te-res-ting. Wonder who really was in the bottom? Ingo, right?
Sean & Peta are inevitably axed. I imagine if Jacoby had been sent home tonight, his mom would have torn the ballroom apart with her bare hands. I might have set something on fire. Like a candle that I don’t like that much, but still.
And, as expected, this means no disco no week. Booo. See you then anyway. I’ll recap next week’s show in a leisure suit in protest.
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