After last weekm Val says Zendaya was so great he’ll let her slouch as much as she wants. Zendaya is having Bambi-legs on dance heels.
They’re in 1920s costumes, with Zendaya flashy in gold fringe. Can’t beat 16; she’s long-limbed and lovely. They don’t quite look like a father-daughter team, but certainly Val would be a much older brother. Like buttah! Tom says.
Carrie starts with a whoop and says Zendaya killed that number. Len says Zendaya will be back next week and Bruno leaps up and says "A STAR is BORN" and re-enacts his favorite part.
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Brooke brings up the age thing again and for Zendaya to say age is nothing but a number, it’s just cruel. Carrie: 9; Len: 8; Bruno: 9; 26 out of 30, or 50 out of 60 with last week’s scores. Tom says “Imagine how good she’ll be when she’s 17!”
Andy and Sharna are dressed as the Mad Hatter and the Red Queen, which implies more schtick, less steps, though I liked his Bertie Wooster realness in last week’s foxtrot. Andy says it’s the first time he’s been through an exorbitant amount of stress without drinking, so good for him. Sharna’s letting him add some moves but his contribution is the demented worm.
As the Mad Hatter, Andy points at the Queen and declares “Off with YOUR head!”, totally off-book. They’re dancing to Poker Face, and Andy is still a bit pancake-handed as Carrie said last week, but the costumes and the exaggerated Gaga moves work well together.
Tom says it was fun-crazy. Len says it was a lark, and praises Andy’s commitment; he says Andy’s not the best dancer and the audience warms up to boo but Len appeases the beast by saying the number was a lot of fun. Bruno says it was outlandish and crackers, then does the Gaga move, and Carrie pulls the shoulder drape of her gown into a Gaga hood. She says Andy was lucky to get jazz, because that let him nail it.
Andy says Sharna believes in him so much he lives in her reality. Scores: Carrie: 7; Len: 6 (to boos); Bruno 7, so 20, with last week’s scores 37 out of 60. Andy is pleased enough to kiss Brooke’s head.
Tom says that last weekm Bruno called Sean’s dance “a Chippendale’s version of a foxtrot, because some people see what they want to see,” and yes, Amy, I love Tom too. This week Sean is wearing a lifeguard tee shirt and Peta is in a bikini with a shredded fringe, all in a bright sunny yellow. Rehearsal clips show Peta yelling at Sean in a very Helena Bonham Carter manner; Sean tells Peta he hasn’t showered for two days and offers her a high-five to show his manky ampit.
The dance starts with Sean giving Peta CPR in way that evokes the phrase “pneumatic blonde.” He will dance very well at his wedding reception, but he’s more good-natured than good.
Bruno yells "SHARK! SHARK!" and demands Sean save him; Len looks like he’d rather be seated at a table nearer the door. More seriously, Bruno says the dance was more Lindy hop than jive. Carrie says it’s clear Sean isn’t feeling the music. Len said it was too much about sharks and not enough about the dancing; an audience members yells “Why are you so cranky?” and really people, leave Len alone! He has standards, and by God somebody needs them in this decadent age. Scores: Carrie: 7; Len 6; Bruno 7; 20 for a 39 out of 60.
Alexandra and Mark have the quickstep; Mark says she can’t do the podium smile and demonstrates cartoony happy faces. They’re a well-matched pair, dancing to "Jumpin’ Jive"; Mark ends the dance face down in Aly’s cleavage and dude, she’s too young to legally drink, so careful there. Carrie calls it the best quickstep of the night, Len gets cheers from the audience by saying terrific, well done, and Bruno says it was like watching a little magic blue bird in full flight, but she needs to watch her top line. Scores: Carrie: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 8; 24 out of 30, or 45 out of 60.
In rehearsals, Gelb promises to be a little Russian dictator; there’s a really painful moment of Lisa trying to do the splits. In case Gelb hasn’t noticed, she doesn’t do this sort of physical thing in her restaurant every day, but really, wouldn’t it bring in customers if she did?
Gelb is dressed like the lost Village Person, the Airline Pilot, and Lisa is dressed like a stewardess in a 1940s gentleman’s comic. They’re dancing to "One Way or Another," and she’s smiling and with it but really it’s like Johnny Castle calling out Baby’s mother. The dance dents Lisa’s pillbox hat. Len says it was a little wooden and the audience boos, but he adds that it was neat and precise. Bruno says she has to contain and place her movement and grabs Len to demonstrate. Carrie administers the Lift Warning and compliments Lisa’s refinement. Scores: Carrie: 6; Len: 6; Bruno: 6, so 18 out of 30 and 36 out of 60. Tom invites us to fly the Giggy skies but Lisa left the dog home this week (#freegiggy).
DL and Cheryl are ready to redeem themselves after last week’s disastrous cha-cha. In rehearsal DL says it’s gone to "Hunger Games" in tights. Rehearsal footage is DL tantrums.
It’s clear DL knows the dance better this week; he’s not looking to Cheryl for what the next step is. Bruno compliments his work, but DL is no Fred Astaire; Tom reminds us that Fred’s dead, so DL is one up to start. Carrie says she can see all the work and Len says the point of the show is to improve each week, which DL has done.
DL tells Brooke he and Cheryl were doing Whitney and Bobby imitations this week, but no restraining order. Scores: Carrie: 5; Len 5: Bruno: 6; so 16 for tonight and 28 out of 60 overall. DL says they used up all the fours last week so there was nowhere to go but up.
Final dancers are Kellie and Derek doing jazz. Derek adds some cheerleading moves and says the judges will either love the routine or they’re not going to get it. Derek, you are not smarter than Len. Stop it.
Kellie is wearing sparkly Daisy Dukes and Derek is shirtless. It’s the mating dance of Lil’ Abner on Mars, with a big glowy stick, and the floor is fogged up enough to cover that pesky footwork thing. Carrie gives them a standing ovation and says it was freeeegyan amazing so she didn’t swear. Len says dance is more than footwork, it’s interpretation, and this was a fire to last week’s spark, for week two. Bruno says it was modern dance at its finest and babbles on about achievement for a bit.
Kellie has cut Derek with the spangles on her costume. Next week’s theme is prom night, but Derek doesn’t know what that might mean because he never went to his. Scores: Carrie: 9; Len: 8; Bruno: 9, so 26 out of 30 and 47 out of 60 and Derek says “Thanks, y’all!” as if the shirtlessness wasn’t enough to tell us he’s playing hick tonight.
At the end of the night Zendaya is on top of the leaderboard and DL is on the bottom. Brooke promises us retro songs and styles for next week’s prom-night spectacular, but Tom seems as doubtful at the prospect as I am. First elimination tomorrow!