'Dancing With the Stars' recap, Jacoby Jones gets mixed reviews on Stevie Wonder night

Scores: Carrie Ann: 6, Len: 6, Bruno: 6

Sean Lowe & Peta Murgatroyd


“I Wish”

Sean says he feels really uncoordinated when he tries to shimmy and he looks it. He had to miss a whole day of rehearsal and he and Peta are both worried about that lost rehearsal time.

Sean’s wearing an electric blue suit with no shirt at all. His torso isn’t THAT great. For a “normal guy” it’s fine, but he’s no Jacoby. He’s not even a Maks. I’m very distracted at the end trying to figure out if he has armpit hair or if he’s shaved/waxed.

Carrie Ann comments that there was a lot of bounce but that he’s having a hard time with his musicality. Len says, “If you all you want to do is beat Andy, you’ve got to set your sites a little higher.” Then Len berates the audience for the quality of their booing. Cranky Len in the house tonight! Len says the bounce was bad, it was riddled with mistakes, he kept getting on the wrong foot, he had no hip action, his upper body had no musicality, but then concludes, “But it wasn’t terrible.” I’d hate to hear what terrible must be.

Len then goes Total Grampa Crankypants with a rant about how it’s not required to take your shirt off during a samba. Carrie Ann points out the obvious reason why they do it. Bruno says Sean can always get a job as a stripper. Oh my.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 7

All that and he’s getting 7s? It must be Week 6.\

Alexandra Reisman & Mark Ballas


“Isn’t She Lovely”

MARK BALLAS IS WEARING DROPPED CROTCH JUSTIN BIEBER PANTS WITH A BACKWARDS BASEBALL CAP. What a doofus. I didn’t think it could get worse than the fedoras and spats. I was wrong. I was so wrong.

Aly is having a hard time focusing because of the situation in Boston (remember this rehearsal footage was shot sometime last week); she’s from Boston and was even supposed to be at the marathon.

This is a good foxtrot – nice marriage of music, choreography, and dancing.

Len points out that it was lovely, but that Aly’s butt stuck out a little too much, messing up her frame. Then he compliments Mark on putting in “feather steps” and I’m reminded that despite all his doofishness, Mark is a pro who does actually know what he’s doing.

Bruno says it was pretty as a picture and that her technique is good, but her frame is an ongoing problem because of the butt. I wonder if she has the “sway back” that my ballet teacher swatted out of us with a cane. (She was Russian. It was a different time.)

Scores: Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 9, Bruno: 9

I saw a picture of Marissa Jaret Winokur at the GLAAD Media Awards over the weekend and I did a double take thinking it was Aly. Tell me what you think.