'American Idol'

Contestant Kezban auditions on "American Idol." (FOX / January 18, 2013)

"American Idol" is filling all of the roles pretty quickly this season. We were even introduced to a little white boy that sings big black dude songs just as good as a big black dude. We got the R&B soulful sounds of Josh -- who belted out a Brian McKnight song and nailed it! Golden Ticket.

Next: Courtney. "Who’s Loving You." Hollywood.

And Andrew, singing "Knock On Wood." I'm a little torn with Andrew, as I know for a fact that if there wasn't the storyline that accompanied his audition, he'd still be singing in the shower in Illinois and not headed to Hollywood.

Andrew shows up with his parents. Andrew has been singing his entire life. Andrew's parents have never heard him sing, ever. Ever? Andrew sings Mom's favorite song. Mom cries. Mariah Carey cries. Andrew gets Golden Ticket. I, my friends, am gravely disappointed. We all know how I feel about the sympathy votes. No. No. No.

We meet Alliyah. I'm not certain why we met Alliyah, but meet her we did. We meet her bad "professional" dancing. We met her bad singing, however she did not meet a Golden Ticket to Hollywood -- there is a God. Amen.

Hottie alert: Johnny offered us all an opportunity to "Try a Little Tenderness." Thank you Johnny. For that, dear, take this Golden Ticket to Hollywood.  

Apparently we missed the bell that summoned Nicki and Mariah out of their corners with their gloves on. It's fight time, again. This time it's because Mariah thought that Nicki wasn't going to give her an opportunity to critique the hottie, go ahead Mariah, judge Johnny, we're sorry.

Our weirdo of the night award goes to Kezbon, the fire throwing, animal balloon making, guitar player hailing all the way from "North Carolina, planet Earth" that could sing.

What a nice person Kezbon is too -- her only aspiration was to make it to Hollywood, she'd rather a "cute little 17-year-old girl win that has dreamed of being the next Idol. How very, very nice of you Kezbon. However, I'm thinking you have a pretty good chance of taking it -- one of my early favorites. Team Kezbon here.

Kezbon chose to sing Pinocchio's "I've Got No Strings," not a typo, that's what the weirdo of the night sang and did a good darn job. Asked to play her guitar, she played and sang, guess what? An original song she wrote and because she had the chops it was a win! Off to Hollywood Kezbon, but not before holding us up complaining about the three-hours of paper work she didn't feel like doing to get to Hollywood because it was "getting late." Shame on you -- fill out the paperwork and get to Hollywood already, flame thrower!

The first lesson I taught you guys was parental support = can't sing. Well tonight we add a new equation to this formula, parental support + twin sibling support = really can't sing.

19-year old Ashley, with her blood-curdling voice, sang, was asked to stop, sang again was asked to stop and (you guessed it) sang again, right up to the point where she was escorted out by security. She met her mom and twin sister in the hall, told them that the judges unanimously told her that singing was not for her and yes, mom and sis told her that the judges were absolutely wrong and that she should keep singing.

Let's pause here folks. If you have a family member that cannot sing at all, not even a little, stop lying to your family member and tell them the cold hard truth. Trust me, they can handle the truth. Now where were we? Oh yeah, goodbye Ashley.

Everyone will be talking about Lazaro Arbos, the phenomenal singer with the ability to silence his nearly debilitating stutter and sing flawlessly. This 21-year-old ice cream scooper stole the show. We watch him stumble over each syllable as he tried to tell us about his condition and it was heartbreaking to watch and wait for him to with much difficulty finish a sentence, but boy when it was time to sing, it all just went away and the lyrics melted out of his mouth without hesitation, perfectly in tune, giving us the chills.

Lazaro, we all chip in and collectively hand you your Golden Ticket to Hollywood. What a way to end the show. How fitting for Lazaro to sing for us "Bridge Over Troubled Waters." I'd sure love to see Lazaro sing the Idol anthem of the year during the finale.

Not only did he entertain us, but Lazaro showed the world that if you believe in a dream and not allow an obstacle to define you, you’ve got a pretty good chance of seeing your dreams come true. Bravo, Lazaro, see you in Hollywood.

47 guys and gals got their Golden Tickets in Chi-Town. Next week we meet the fast and the furious of Charlotte. Can't wait -- you know where to find me. It's "Idol" Baby!