'Amazing Race,' In Scotland, whiskey barrels, poetry and haggis

Nobody throwed up.

I mean, I could write something awesome, but it’s late, I don’t want to lose sleep over it. It was just soup, not haggis.

Do you need more haggis chat? Haggis Chat, by the way, should totally be a real talk show or at least a band name. Caroline: “What is haggis?” Jennifer: “Probably like a meat pudding.” Caroline: “I blew something hard all day, now let’s just eat it.” *rimshot*

Meghan: “You know what haggis is, don’t you?” Joey: “No I don’t. Tell me.” Meghan: “You don’t want to know.”

A rainbow of a speed bump

Mona and Beth have to bowl for their speed bump, but in Scotland it’s called skittles (not like the candy, unless it totally is) and the balls don’t have holes for fingers. They play at the oldest pub in Edinburgh, so old that they have to run down the lane and reset the pins themselves. Also, the floor is a little wonky so they have to aim to the left. It’s not regulation skittles, exactly.

I turn, U turn, We all turn!

The Double U-turn would have been very interesting if that airport scenario had ended differently. But it didn’t. The top three teams made a deal to U-turn Joey and Meghan and Mona and Beth, and that’s exactly what they do.

YouTube and the Moms had been making haggis together, but Mona and Beth finished several minutes earlier because of their ninja mom cooking skills. They start rolling barrels while Joey and Meghan finish stuffing haggis.

Meghan is not very strong rolling the barrels, so she and Joey team up to roll one barrel at a time. Mona and Beth finish first, but Joey and Meghan are catching up.

Jekyll and Hyde

The greeter at the Pit Stop mat looks like the Phantom of the Opera but with a more grotesque mask. Phil does his eyebrow to scare people, so it’s a pretty freaky mat.

Max and Katie take first place again, just edging out Bates and Anthony. Caroline and Jennifer are third.

After driving and running and suspense, Mona and Beth arrive in fourth place. Joey and Meghan are last, and Jekyll roars at them. Poor kids. Phil eliminates them.

Next week: Holy cow, it’s a two-hour finale! I’m not even prepared! Beth says that there’s a lot of absurdity, and I agree because it looks like someone goes snorkeling in a mud puddle. Stock up on cheese and haggis, everyone!