Hampton Roads is a funny place. Interstate 64 East goes south -- and then west. Things aren't said the way they're spelled -- Gloucester, Norfolk, Portsmouth. A rain-snow-mix boundary is enough to throw the area into chaos.
There's a funny e-mail that has circulated around Hampton Roads for the past few years, sort of a take of on "You know you're a redneck if..." The joke starts, "You know you live in 'The 757' when ... " Add your own funny ending.
After publishing some of them, we heard from someone who says he originated the idea. Ben Kennedy, first compiled the jokes with help from his friends on his band's Web site about five years ago. Shortly after that, he wrote it up with a friend for a cover piece in the Virginian-Pilot. Here are some of those jokes and others suggested by area readers:
You know you live in 'The 757' when:
1. You are amazed whenever any city within 50 miles of your house is mentioned in a textbook, national news, etc.
2. You know Mount Trashmore is a real place.
3. Any eastbound trip you've ever made involves at least one tunnel.
4. You've dated someone in the military.
5. You don't stop and look skyward when aircraft fly over.
6. You can name all the I-64 spurs.
7. You don't slow down in the tunnel.
8. You can say "Norfolk" without sounding obscene or incorrect.
9. You can leave town for years and return to find the same roads still under construction.
10. An inch of snow closes everything down. Three inches is a blizzard.
11. You know Newport News is not the name of a newspaper.
12. It's not a peninsula; it's the Peninsula -- with a capital P.
13. It's not Portsmouth; it's P-town.
14. It's Hampton, not the Hamptons.
15. You've seen Pat Robertson in the Farm Fresh.
16. You don't mind the jet noise.
17. You know that it all started here.
18. You know you'll get five different directions from five different people on how to get to downtown Norfolk.
19. You mark the Bay Days Festival in Hampton on your calendar before the summer even hits.
20. You have experienced all four seasons within a 24-hour period.
21. You know how to get to Monitor-Merrimac if HRBT westbound is backed up.
22. You can get from Newport News East End to Williamsburg without hopping onto I-64.
23. You remember when Mercury Boulevard had the service lanes that were separate from the rest of Mercury.
24. Wal-Mart is an actual hang-out spot when the clubs close down for the night.
25. You can tell when a Navy ship came home by how crowded the stores are.
26.. As a kid you knew field trips involved traveling to Jamestown, Williamsburg or the Virginia Air and Space Center.27. You know that every time you go to Williamsburg there will be new places to shop
28. You look forward to the Hampton Coliseum putting on its "holiday" lights
29. When everyone in the south says "y'all" and you say "all y'all.
30. You know the Power Plant is a shopping center in Hampton, not a facility for the generation of power.
31. You know how to pronounce Denbigh.
32. Hilton Village had nothing to do with a hotel magnate.
33. You're not surprised that George Washington Highway, J.Clyde Morris, and Route 17 are all the same.
34. On Thanksgiving, your kids dress up as John Smith and Pocahontas instead of as Pilgrims.
35. The Civil War and Revolutionary War both passed through your yard.
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