The truth is, I haven't been to the gym in over six months; my membership got cancelled in August, along with The (Ex) Boyfriend. And yet the number on the scale today is finally -- FINALLY -- the same as it was when I first moved to New York a little over two years ago. What happened?
Only the most effective weight loss strategy in the history of the world: the Break Up Diet.
There are various incarnations to The Break Up Diet -- you can be so devastated you can't possibly muster up an appetite, or the will to shop for food. (Or the will to leave your bed at all, although that probably doesn't contribute to weight loss, now that I think about it.)
Although I had moments of that, my Break Up Diet consisted mainly of negatives -- I was no longer eating out 6 nights a week, no longer having appetizers, entrees and desserts, no longer downing two glasses of wine with dinner, then chasing that with a cappuccino, no longer lingering over long brunches involving bagels, lox and all of the cream cheese in the entire state of Wisconsin.
Thanks to all this (and, okay, a small stint in the hospital conveniently during Thanksgiving), I've managed to shed the 15 pounds I gained with the Ex gastronomist.
Apparently, I'm not the only one whose weight fluctuates when getting in or getting out of a relationship.
Katherine, 22, an editorial assistant, says that her last romance "started with me being fit and in shape (and quite confident) and ended with me being terribly unhappy because my body looked completely different." She and her then-boyfriend made a habit of scarfing down Chinese food, pizza and candy.
"We had reached a comfort zone," she explains, and "there was no one to impress."
After what she describes as a "bitter" breakup, they turned things around.
"We were both at the gym EVERYDAY trying to get back in shape because we had let ourselves go. Being back on the market and making SURE the other one was jealous was complete motivation. (And let me tell you, all those nights canoodling on the couch eating pizza are HARD to work off!)"
As fun as it is to be jealous (and really, who doesn't love that feeling? Um …), there have to be better ways to keep your svelte single figure than vengeful treadmilling. In fact, here's a list of fun and helpful tips to email your partner today!
1) STOP EATING CRAP FOOD
2) Go to the gym
3) STOP EATING CRAP FOOD
Apparently William, 28, in sales, got that memo. "In my last relationship in New York I found myself losing weight as I wasn't out drinking in bars, filling up on empty calories and late night food binges."
Nothing like giving up the trappings of frat boy life to inadvertently trim the flab. Of course, that doesn't work for those of us who turn into hormone-charged gluttons at the first sight of love and/or the dessert tray whilst sitting across from our love.
"I see it a lot," says Stacy Berman, a certified fitness trainer and founder of Stacy's Boot Camp in New York. "Individuals get in good shape to meet someone, then they meet them and gain all the weight back."
Although many couples train with her to get ready for their weddings, Stacy contends that it would make more sense if they started working out earlier in their relationships. In other words, get thee to a gym when your jeans are merely snug – not when you can't wiggle them over your hips.
Her suggestions for busy New York couples? "You have to make time for exercise – and do it together, so it's more of a bonding experience." Physical activities like boot camp, dance lessons, yoga or even a stroll down Battery Park City's promenade are far more engaging than side-by-side lifting or 20 minutes of mind-numbing ellipticals.
And instead of bonding like the typical New York Epicureans you know you are (that is, over an expensive, caloric, high in fat – but not trans fat! - culinary smorgasbord) - try grocery shopping at Whole Foods together. Okay, so it won't be that much cheaper, but at least you'll control what goes into your meal.
If you're dating someone who thinks of kitchens as storage for his take-out menus and shot glass collection, remember that just because he doesn't gain weight from downing five spicy tuna rolls, followed by several slices of cheese pizza, doesn't mean you won't. Many women unintentionally match the caloric intake of their partners, and with even just a 500 calorie differential, that's at least a pound a week.
The solution? Um, tell your partner to quit eating crap in front of you. Or wait until he's gone and throw all the food into a black garbage bag, along with his cell phone, which should make ordering take-out more challenging.
If none of this works, don't despair. At some point you'll either have to lose weight for the Wedding, or you'll split and go on the amazing Break Up Diet.
In the meantime, just remember, "relationships are all about giving," says Ryan, 29, an artist. "And what kind of partner would you be without giving your mate the proper love handles for spooning?"
You can imagine the ladies are all lining up for that.
Julia sometimes thinks about rejoining the gym, then decides to take a nap instead -- email her at Julia@JuliaAllison.com.
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What are the must-haves you look for in a mate?
She should have a sense of humor, be fair, cute (does not have to be drop dead gorgeous or model thin), must have other friends, must like to do things not just sit around and above all she should comfortable with herself...
Submitted by: Just a thought
2:42 PM EST, Feb 20, 2007
I like what Rose has to say, I may even know this woman. Could be a match.
Submitted by: Doug
11:52 AM EST, Feb 20, 2007
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