Farida Shourbaji: Lucky Jupiter waits for the off season to bless Flacco with plenty of sexy offers -- and yes, an even sexier new contract!
Lexie Mountain: Good news: The Ravens are going to the Superbowl! If not this post-season, than after 2013. I promise. Flacco will have to use his brains, whether or not he is actively playing at the time. Joe: less time picking out your "Flacco's Favorites" for Pizza Hut, more time sharpening your mind, OK?
Angela Devoti: "Lift up those legs!" Sheila Dixon shrieks, swatting at Flacco's kneecaps with a thin cane. "Straighten your back, Joe!" Dixon's mentoring, which involves both verbal and physical abuse, helps Flacco more than any quarterbacks coach ever could. He finally realizes his full potential, and Ravens fans are forever grateful.